Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, 4 September 2015
Sunday, 3 May 2015
7 Ways to Go From a Boss to a Leader
7 Ways to Go From a Boss to a Leader
Many people view the terms “boss”
and “leader” as interchangeable -- but they are vastly different. To
determine which one you are, I encourage you to honestly answer this question:
Do you: a) see your team members as an aggravating necessity that you have
to put up with in order to accomplish day-to-day activities and achieve goals?
Or, do you: b) truly enjoy working with people on your team to meet your
goals and deliverables?
If you
chose a), you’re probably more of a boss; if you chose b), you’re probably
more of a leader.
Based on
my work with teams over the past 25 years -- and, of course, common sense -- I
can confidently say that the teams which produce the most effective
and long-lasting results are the ones directed by leaders, not bosses. So,
how do you move from “boss” to “leader”? Here are seven key ways:
1. Love people.
No one
can lead a team well unless he or she truly enjoys working with people. People
are not minions; they are individuals with unique personalities,
traits and talents. As a leader, you must enjoy helping people and
watching them succeed.
2. Guide,
don’t control, your team.
Bosses
feel the need to control every action; they’re micromanagers. Leaders know that
their team will accomplish great things if they receive direction and support
rather than control, so they establish frameworks and structure, then empower
their teams to get the work done, providing support along the way.
3. Be
adaptable.
Bosses
tend to be very rigid in the way they want things done, but leaders understand
that they must adapt their personal style to their team members’ needs. They
understand and value each team member’s individuality, establish expectations
clearly and adapt their leadership approach as necessary.
4. Delegate.
Bosses
may feel they are delegators, but because they don’t trust anyone else to do
the job as well as they can, they never fully delegate anything. Leaders truly
delegate. They assign tasks, and then let go (though they still follow up
periodically to ensure their team members are on track to achieve the
desired results).
5. Give credit, accept
blame.
Bosses
love to take credit for their teams' successful results -- and they’re the
first to throw them under the bus when those goals are not achieved as desired.
Leaders, in contrast, know their success comes from their teams' efforts, so
they keep their egos in check: They showcase their teams' efforts when they
succeed, and they accept personal responsibility when they fail.
6.
Practice risk acceptance.
Bosses
avoid risks at all costs because they are fearful that going out on a limb
might produce a perceived failure -- they like to play it safe. But
leaders know that the greatest successes come from taking risks. Leaders enable
and encourage their teams to try new things, and they see every so-called
mistake or failure as an opportunity to make improvements.
7. Motivate.
Bosses
motivate through fear. Leaders, in contrast, motivate by figuring out what
sparks their individual team members to perform at their highest potential, and
by expecting greatness from their teams even when those individuals
don't see greatness in themselves. Leaders also cheer and celebrate
successes, small and large, because they know they are their teams' biggest
fans.
Going
from “boss” to “leader” is a challenging personal development experience
-- but it’s extremely rewarding, too! If you act like a leader, your team
members will produce long-lasting effective results, and their performance
will be consistently outstanding. They will be more engaged at work, and more
fulfilled in their personal lives, too. In that way, developing from boss to
leader is an act of kindness and service to your fellow human beings
-- and to yourself, as well. Become a leader, and you’ll find that your
life will be less stressful, and exponentially more fulfilling.
Origin:- www.entrepreneur.com
How to Start a Conversation With Strangers at a Networking Event
How to Start a Conversation With Strangers at a Networking Event
One of the
best ways for entrepreneurs to socialize with colleagues, customers and
potential clients is at networking events. Corporate gatherings, conferences,
happy hours and cocktail parties provide an opportunity for you to meet new
people and reconnect with old acquaintances.
However, if you have difficulty
mingling in a room full of strangers, connecting with other professionals can
be a difficult and uncomfortable process. Regardless of how you feel,
networking is undeniably an effective way to meet people who can provide new
opportunities and help you grow your business.
Many entrepreneurs regularly attend
networking events, but few study or practice effective networking. The more
practiced you become at starting conversations with strangers, the less anxious
you’ll be. Your confidence will attract others and help you become much more
than just another business card.
To become a master mingler, employ
these tips at the next networking event you attend.
Hone your
public speaking skills.
Conversations require just as much
speaking ability as a presentation. Practice your skills whenever you can. Take
a public speaking class or join a Toastmasters club in your area. When you feel prepared, give
presentations at industry meetings or offer to give a guest lecture at a local
community college or university.
Start with a
handshake.
The type of handshake you extend to a
stranger speaks volumes about you and your intentions. When you approach
someone new at a networking event, start your conversation with a firm
handshake. As you greet the individual, make eye contact, smile, extend your
hand and introduce yourself. This nonverbal communication will help you build
rapport before you even say a word.
Win the name
game.
Remembering names is an essential
skill in conversations. When others hear you say their name, it makes them feel
more connected to you. If you’ve just met someone for the first time, use his
name frequently in conversation. When you forget a name, simply extend your
hand and say your own name. The other person will most likely introduce himself
in return.
Show
interest.
Many entrepreneurs use a popular but
ineffective approach while networking. Instead of building relationships, they
collect and hand out as many business cards as they can. To form professional
connections, approach new acquaintances with a genuine interest in their
businesses, opinions and hobbies. When you initiate the conversation, ask
open-ended questions to show your sincerity.
Ask a
connector for help.
A personal introduction is a winning
strategy to start conversations at networking events. If you’re a first-timer
at an event and nervous, ask the host or an influential contact to introduce
you to others. Most people will gladly introduce you to other entrepreneurs in
the room.
Give a
sincere compliment.
Everyone is happy to receive a
compliment, even from a new connection. Use what you know about the person to
choose the best accolade. It’s advisable to compliment someone on his or her
business accomplishments or talents. Compliment a physical attribute only when
you don’t have anything else to go on. You could say something like, “You look
very sharp in that blazer.”
Share
opportunities.
Use networking events as a way to
tithe your social and professional capital. Seek out entrepreneurs in different
industries. When you start a conversation, ask industry-specific questions.
Invite the person to share her opinion and then communicate your perspective.
Always be on the lookout for potential partnerships and other business
opportunities. Train your ears to hear problems so you can present solutions.
Learn to
tell a story.
The best way to form connections in
networking conversations is by telling your story. Everyone has a story to
tell. To discover the other person’s story, ask the right questions. You could
say something like, “Who is a special person in your life who influenced who
you are today?” It’s a personal question and will help others to open up.
Origin:- www.entrepreneur.com
Origin:- www.entrepreneur.com
5 Reasons Vitamin D Is Even More Important Than You Think
5 Reasons Vitamin D Is Even More Important Than You Think
A study published in Sports Health found that over one-third of elite,
Division I college athletes may have low levels of vitamin D. Among its roles,
this crucial vitamin helps your body absorb calcium, maintain bone mass,
ameliorate musculoskeletal pain and reduce injury risk. Researchers noted that
while athletes were especially vulnerable, up to one billion people globally
have insufficient or deficient vitamin D levels.
So how do you know whether you have optimal D levels? The
only way to know for sure is to have a blood test,
with levels between 50-80 ng/ml for optimal health.
Balance becomes key here. “Because vitamin D is a fat
soluble vitamin,” writes Dr. Joel Kahn, “it will remain in the
body for long periods of time if given in excess. Vitamin D overdosing may
cause high blood calcium levels, leading to poor appetite, nausea and vomiting.
Kidney stones are a risk.”
While everyone benefits from optimal D levels, the
aforementioned Sports Health study showed athletes become
especially vulnerable to deficiencies. Whether you play sports, lift heavy or
just participate as a weekend warrior, here are five reasons maintaining
optimal D levels become crucial:
1. Immunity
Studies show vigorous exercise can take a hit
on your immune system, especially if you’re a distance runner or otherwise
engage in strenuous workouts. That’s where optimal vitamin D levels can help.
Not only does vitamin D help maintain healthy bones, it also "stimulates your immune system to produce factors called defensing
and cathelicidins that kill viruses.” No wonder cold and flu season occurs when
days are shortest!
2. Brain
function
Studies show exercise improves cognitive
function and reduce free-radical damage to your brain. Optimal vitamin D levels
can amplify that brain boost and possibly reduce your risk for degenerative
disease. One study found older people who don’t get sufficient vitamin D have a
higher risk for dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
3. Longevity
The numerous active 70- and 80-something folks in my gym
prove regular workouts keep you young and vigorous. Exercise coupled with
optimal D levels provides a one-two punch against the effects of aging. Because
vitamin D is responsible for so many genetic pathways in the human body,
deficiencies are linked to chronic disease while optimal levels are linked to an actual preservation of telomeres.
4. Testosterone
Among its roles as an anabolic hormone, studies show
testosterone contributes to optimal muscle mass and synthesis. Vitamin D plays
a key role in optimizing testosterone levels. One study found exercising for 10 hours weekly
increased testosterone while reducing body mass index (BMI) in females. Another linked low testosterone in women to
atherosclerosis and obesity.
5. Inflammation
Chronic inflammation becomes every athlete’s worst enemy,
leading to soreness, fatigue and other issues that cramp your game. Studies show
consistent exercise reduces inflammation. Working out coupled with an
anti-inflammatory diet becomes a powerful way to reverse this
disease that, To
further reduce inflammation, make sure to get your vitamin D levels checked and
maintain optimal levels.
Sufficient sunlight, supplementing, and eating vitamin-D
rich foods like wild-caught salmon provide the best ways to get this crucial
nutrient.
Origin:- www.mindbodygreen.com
3 Spiritual Practices To See Your True Self More Clearly
3 Spiritual Practices To See Your True Self More Clearly
The number one obstacle on our journey toward greater
awareness of self is thinking that we know something when we really do not.
Known as avidya in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, this
obstacle (klesha)
translates as “not seeing clearly” and indicates that our ignorance comes from
a lack of true spiritual insight.
Avidya is the first of five inner states of being that
prevent us from liberation of the ego or, enlightenment. Asmita (egoism)
follows, then raga (attachment)
and dvesa(aversion to
higher self), then finally, abhinivesa — (fear of death), the final klesha.
These teachings are not meant to discourage us, but rather
to provide a model from which we can understand the nature of our experiences
in life and move toward greater clarity and joy.
When we are experiencing avidya, we feel unsettled in some
way. This is recognizable since most of us feel unsettled in some way a good
portion of the time — incessantly striving to achieve without ever feeling
really complete just as we are. Or maybe we spend too much time seeking
pleasure or self-definition from things that are transitory.
When we cling to a certain belief and are unable to
consider another viewpoint, we are operating in avidya. If we cannot still the
restless mind in order to discern truth beyond our current desires, this too is
a state of unclarity. Emotionally, avidya manifests as anxiety, fear of
rejection, or tumultuous mood swings within our internal landscape.
This lack of clear vision is driven by the ego-self — the
part of us that thinks it knows everything and has to maintain its position of
control. Avidya only leads us to suffering.
So we have a choice: In our thoughts and actions, we can
either feed avidya, or starve it out. When we begin to move away from avidya
and progress toward clarity, we will feel more at peace and less clouded with
anxiety.
To overcome ignorance and liberate yourself from the ego
self, consider these three spiritual practices:
1. Humility
No matter how much knowledge we acquire, it is important
to remember the Universe is infinite. We must allow ourselves to be humbled by
this awareness. Only when we are willing to admit that we do not and cannot
know it all, can we then open our hearts to the Self that does know and can
guide us into Truth.
Through practices to help eliminate the ego we
become more able to act from the standpoint of Higher Self, rather than
personal agenda. This includes putting a cap on your desires, dedicating the
fruits of your actions to the Divine, and maintaining a sense of mindfulness.
2. Introspection
Integrating a disciplined self-reflection process each day
helps us to remain watchful of our physical, emotional and mental habits. By
careful self-observation, we begin to see the ways that ignorance or lack of
clarity starts to shift within us. It is our job to polish the glass of the
mind where pure consciousness is trying to shine through.
3. Devotion
In order to uproot the powerful connection we hold to our ego nature,
we must become devoted to that which is higher and greater than our individual
selves. Even if we cannot comprehend what this may be, we can acknowledge the
difference between the ego/personality self and the self that is the light within
us. We can meditate to make contact with this "Soul Self" and connect
with universal consciousness to experience it more completely.
With humility, introspection and devotion, our inner
vision will clear and we will begin to identify with the true self, rather than
the temporary body self. By overcoming avidya we will feel more peace within.
Sitting in the humble recognition of not-knowing versus knowing, we feel no
tension or agitation, but rather a stillness from which we can consciously
choose to speak or act (or not).
As avidya loses its grip on us, we sit as compassionate
witnesses to the fluctuations of our human experience, while maintaining
identification with the real self that holds infinite space for all learning
and wisdom to occur.
10 Myths About "Healthy" Relationships
Each one of us carries ideas around about what a healthy
relationship looks like or "should" look like. This typically comes
from our upbringing, the relationships we see around us, and more. Yet these
common beliefs about "healthy" relationships often create and
reinforce stereotypes, many of which can do more harm than good.
While maintaining standards for what you want a "healthy
relationship" to look like is a totally OK thing to do, many of these
thoughts are just cultural myths that oversimplify issues most relationships
inevitably face.
Identifying the relationship myths that we hold can be
beneficial to the overall health and longevity of our
relationships, as it frees us from making assumptions and helps us
to live more in the present moment.
Here are 10 myths about so-called "healthy"
relationships that many of us may have.
1. “Conflict means the relationship isn’t healthy.”
This is quite the opposite actually. The total absence of
conflict in a
relationship is more a red flag that problems are being repressed rather than
discussed. By allowing conflicts to happen, both partners openly acknowledge
and work through issues, which, by the way, are basically unavoidable in any
relationship, romantic or not. In doing so, the relationship deepens and
becomes stronger.
2. “We both have to have the same views on everything.”
Do we need to accommodate all of our partner's needs 24/7 in
order to be with them? Sure, but only to some degree. That is, we don't have to agree or be on the
same page about every single thing in
order to have a healthy relationship.
Two people can have wildly different view points on things
and still have a healthy relationship. After all, there are people in this
world who have healthy relationships despite differing religious/spiritual
views, cultural backgrounds, and political views. It boils down to a matter of
both people accepting and respecting one another.
3. “A happy and fulfilling relationship requires having
common interests.”
Though having some common interests can make it easier on
what to do on a Saturday night date, it’s not an absolute deal breaker. What
matters more is that there is a lively dynamic between you two, and one characterized by feelings of love and
support.
4. “There is a certain criteria that all must follow in
order to have a healthy relationship.”
This myth is the paramount myth: the mere idea that there is
one ideal of a "healthy" relationship.
But when you think about it more carefully, doesn't it seem
obvious that there's no “one size fits all” criteria? Everybody is different,
and very complicated, so why shouldn't our relationships be that way, too? Each
of us has our own fears, desires, neuroses, needs, past experiences and more.
That's why we have to do what works for us and our particular relationship.
5. “As long as I really try to not do what my parents did,
I will have a healthy relationship.”
The problem with heavily focusing on not doing what our parents
did is this: We may end up trying so hard to not be like
our parents that we end up causing other problems. So we must
focus more on healing ourselves rather than to simply avoid doing what our
parents did.
6. “There will always be romance.”
The romance may last a few years, but the truth is that it’s
going to calm down at some point or another. It’s not something that is just
going to always be there automatically.
7. “If I’m with the right person, I won’t have to really
work that hard at it.”
Any one individual is incredibly complicated. So once you put
two people together, everything becomes so much more so. I like
to think that our relationships are assignments to help us grow and evolve. The
challenges that come up during our relationships invite us to examine
ourselves, and undergo some personal growth every single day.
8. “In order for this relationship to work, my partner
must change.”
The reality is that we have no control over our partner or
anyone else in our life. The only person that we have control over
is ourselves.
9. “Being in a healthy relationship means my partner is
going to know my needs and meet them all the time.”
It is not anybody else’s responsibility to take care of you
and your needs. Only you are responsible for that — just as your partner is
responsible for their own needs as well.
10. “All we need is love to make a marriage work.”
When it comes to marriage,
there are a lot of things to deal with: finding a place to live, working with
finances, deciding whether to have kids and, if so, deciding on how they are
going to be raised.
Sure, love can be a motivator to get us to work through these
things together but we can’t just say, “Oh, all we need is love” and brush the
rest under the rug thinking it will just “work itself out." All these
factors need to be openly talked about and agreements need to be made.
What are some myths about healthy relationships that you can
think of? Share them in the comments below!
Origin :- www.mindbodygreen.com
Saturday, 2 May 2015
Debunking the Myth of the Highly-Sexed Man
Debunking the Myth of the Highly-Sexed Man
We live in a culture fed by myths. Not the archetypal
myths born in the collective unconscious that deeply nourish the wells of the
human psyche. No, I'm talking about the myths that are more closely akin to,
shall we say, lies.
Our culture lies about love, leading us to believe that love
is only a feeling. (Truth: it's mostly an action.) It lies about partnership,
leading us to believe that you must never "settle" for anything less
than "the One," who you will recognize as such the moment you lay
steamy eyes upon him or her. (Truth: there are many people with whom you could
have a loving, healthy partnership, and you don't always know it at first
sight.) And it delivers heaps of lies about sex.
Oh, the sex lies ... where to begin?! We're conditioned to
believe that if you and your partner aren't having scintillating,
simultaneously orgasmic sex two or three times a week, then there's something
wrong with your relationship. We're taught that women are supposed to orgasm
effortlessly through intercourse. We learn early in life that a woman's
femininity directly correlates to her sexuality, and a man's virility is
subject to the same equation. Both men and women are culturally conditioned to
believe that their self-worth is linked to their sexual desirability and
libido.
This is why one of the most damaging myths to both men and
women in heterosexual relationships is that the man is supposed to have a
higher sex drive than his female partner. And because I'm privy to the
innermost, sacred lives of my clients and course members, I happen to know that
this myth is just that: a lie.
In fact, based on my acute observations, I've noticed
that, while there's almost always a high-drive partner and a low-drive partner,
in about 55% of the heterosexual relationships I've encountered, the high-drive
partner is ... the woman. Yes, this sits in direct opposition to the message
that the culture propagates, which is that it's almost always the man who's
pawing at his partner for sex, or lying grumpily in bed as the woman feigns a
headache.
There is only one sure result for presenting such a skewed
version of reality to us all: it leads directly to shame. If we're all walking around
believing that men are supposed
to be more sexual than women
yet you're in a relationship where the opposite is true, you will both form one
inevitable conclusion: there's something wrong with me or our relationship.
When a woman is with a male partner who has a low sex
drive, she may wonder if he's not attracted to her or if she's doing something
wrong. Nowhere does it live in her cultural blueprint that she's simply
partnered with someone who has a lower libido than she does. Likewise, when a
man is with a woman who has the higher drive, he nearly always feels inadequate
in some way, like he's not living up to the cultural expectation of the
highly-sexed man who can "satisfy his woman."
But ultimately, debunking this myth is important for any
relationship, regardless of gender and sexuality. In other words, it's just
simply not the case that two people in a relationship will always have the same
libido.
When my clients share this dynamic with me they almost
always do so through the whisper of shame, as if they're the only couple of the
planet to be living this out. When I tell them how often I hear about this
"problem" in my work, they breathe an audible soul-sigh of relief.
With acceptance comes compassion, and with compassion comes the flow of love
that lubricates the wheels of a relationship.
Anything is workable with compassion, self-trust, and lots of love at the helm. And as soon as they
learn that they're not alone and there's nothing wrong, they realize that there
really isn't a problem after all. They can now work with the challenge of
differing needs just as they would work with any other area of their
relationship where they have different needs without the charge of shame
running the show.
So here's my shout-out to anyone in this relationship
dynamic: there's nothing wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship!
Men can, indeed, have a lower sex drive than a woman, and that doesn't mean
there's anything wrong. If two people in a relationship don't have the same sex
drive, it doesn't mean one person is less attracted to the other, nor does it
mean there's anything aberrant or damaged about their sexuality.
So let's start telling the truth, so that we can set ourselves
— and our world — free.
Origin:- www.mindbodygreen.com
15 Universal Truths About Love
15 Universal Truths About Love
I’ve
done numerous interviews and talks about what makes for a successful
relationship. I’ve been a marriage counselor for 35 years, and have also
written extensively on the subject of love, most recently a book entitled Love
Cycles, which looks
at how the feeling of love comes in distinct cycles during romantic
relationships. In other words, love is more complicated than we often believe.
With that, here are the 15 things
I’ve observed over time to be the most essential and universal truths about
love.
1. Love is
a feeling.
And like any feeling, it can come
and go — sometimes unexpectedly. Loving, however, is a skill set, and one you
can develop.
2. At its
beginning, romantic love is passionate and exciting — so enjoy the ride.
Keep in mind, though, that the depth of your passion early on is no indication that your lover is a
good person for you to commit to. We need other (less exciting) information to
select a partner wisely.
3. One of
the main reasons relationships fail is that we don’t choose someone who is
right for us to begin with.
This seems obvious, but accepting
this truth will help you be more mindful and self-aware when it comes to determining the difference between love and lust.
4. We tend
to commit to those we think are like us.
And we move into a power struggle
dynamic soon thereafter because we find out they’re different. Then we try to
change our lover into the person we thought they were — or should be. That is
the cause of so, so many conflicts I see in relationships.
5. Nobody
can change another person.
You may get compliance and
agreement, but they won’t last. Learning to practice the art of acceptance is
an effort far more worth your while.
6. We
often look out and see what our partner is doing “wrong.”
But any change we seek has to come
from within us. Relationships are an inside job.
7. Waiting
for your partner to change isn't the same thing as patience.
To be actually patient (with
yourself), learn to accept your partner. Rather than wait for him/her to decide
to change, sometimes all it takes is to make a new move yourself.
8. To find
the right person is to be the right person.
Feeling good in your own skin is
the foundation of a healthy relationship, period.
9. All couples have some irresolvable issues.
The difference between couples
that thrive and couples that dive is how successfully they manage their issues, because every
couple has some.
10.
Nourishing the relationship doesn't happen on its own.
In addition to developing the
skills to manage conflict, you also need to commit to nourishing the
relationship (even when you don't want to). As I said, loving is a skill set —
so make sure to put in the work to have fun together, to try new activities and
to allow miracles to happen!
11. To be
able to nurture the other person and the relationship, we have to keep our own
tank full.
Giving and giving without
receiving is a recipe for burnout. Not only should there be mutual giving in
the relationship, but make sure to give yourself love, too.
12. You can live a full life even if you don't commit to one person.
12. You can live a full life even if you don't commit to one person.
People used
to need relationships
to survive and to keep the species alive. Now, by contrast, we are with
particular partners by choice. So honor the power of your choice.
13. The #1
complaint in couple’s therapy is "I’m not in love with my partner
anymore.”
But once again: love is a feeling.
It comes and it goes, and is never constant. Good relationships have bad
seasons and also dull ones. Most often, the feeling returns — so don't be in
despair if you feel the ebb and flow.
14. It’s
normal for sex to slow down and sometimes seem to disappear in long-term
relationships.
No matter how dull or dead our sex life feels, we can
jump-start it into something passionate and hot all over again, if we’re
willing.
15. To fall in love
takes a moment.
To learn to love takes a long time and is the
most valuable thing we can learn in our lifetime.
I’ve been with my husband for thirty
years of a (mostly) terrific marriage. I attribute this to the commitment we
each made to learn the skills (and practice them) which make love thrive and to
almost create a series of mantras for ourselves out of these points. In some
ways I feel my own life experience are my most important credentials.
Origin :- www.mindbodygreen.com
4 Choices That Will Prepare You For Lasting Love
4 Choices That Will Prepare You For Lasting Love
For as long as I can remember, I have been
fascinated by relationships. For years, I found myself constantly studying
people's behaviors and ways of talking about relationships, all in an effort to
understand the factors that determine lasting love.
Even with all of
my research and knowledge, and even after beginning to pinpoint certain healthy
behaviors and attitudes I observed in others, I experienced one failed relationship after
another in
my own romantic life.
It almost felt
like divine intervention when the truth finally dawned on me. But really it
involved a profound realization about the power of my choice ...
Somewhere during
my childhood, I learned to believe I was unworthy of love. This belief of being
not good enough colored my perception of reality and everything that happened
to me.
Over the years,
this belief became so deeply ingrained in me my subconscious automatically
perceived anything slightly less than great in my life as an affirmation of my
unworthiness. This was the case especially in intimate relationships.
But when I
finally understood that feeling worthy of love was the key to a lasting
relationship, I made a series of choices that helped me change the way I
related to myself, and to others.
Below are four
simple choices you too can make in order to begin your journey to develop your
own feelings of worthiness. Because after all, choosing to cultivate appreciation
for yourself is the only way to prepare for lasting love.
1. Uncover
and follow your passions.
By doing finding
something you love, even if it's just finding out a type of music that you like
listening to, you will feel more connected to yourself, to others and to life
itself. Not only will pleasure and enthusiasm give you a sense of individual
purpose, but will also help you recognize a bigger and more universal sense of
purpose around you.
For example, when
I was on my journey of transformation, I finally decided to follow my passion
of helping others with their relationships. I had known since my teenage years
this was a passion of mine, but I never followed it because I was too busy
chasing after intimate relationships instead of focusing on myself.
Once I started to
follow my passion and purpose, I became a much happier and more fulfilled
person. I finally became someone who would make a good partner as I was no
longer searching for someone to "complete" me.
2. Get to
know your triggers.
When you know what triggers
feelings of
unworthiness within you and why, you can make the conscious choice to react to
situations, people and experiences in a different way. Instead of pushing
people away out of fear, you can open yourself up to more love and a deeper
connection.
When I uncovered
my personal triggers, I realized I was taking harmless circumstances and
twisting them in my mind to perceive them as personal attacks. Once I stepped
away from the emotions caused by my triggers, I was able to make better
decisions and create lasting bonds.
3. Make
peace with your past.
There is nothing
like a past relationship that didn’t work out to bring up feelings of
unworthiness. If we look back on the past with regret, we will conjure
narratives that perpetuate bad feelings. I tried my best, but it was never good enough. What
if I never am able to make a relationship work? Thoughts
like this can then spiral out of control.
Often we carry
these scars deep inside for years, and that's perfectly natural. But when we
try to stuff them down and pretend we are all right, the scars show in the type
of people and relationships we attract.
Forgiving yourself and your ex are
two gestures that hold the key to healing feelings of unworthiness, as they
allow us to exist in the present moment and distinguish between our mind's
stories, and the reality of our experience. As I began to forgive and heal my
feelings of unworthiness around my past relationships, I immediately began to
attract much more present, compassionate partners into my life.
4. Release
expectations.
As we go through
life, certain expectations are placed upon us by our family, society and
culture. To gain love and acceptance, we begin to mold ourselves to follow
these expectations.
Origin:- www.mindbodygreen.com
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
5 Ayurvedic Rituals To Start Your Days Right
5 Ayurvedic Rituals To Start Your Days Right
Ayurveda has such a great amount to offer as far as
recuperating and preventive wellbeing, and one of the most ideal approaches to
start to investigate this old practice is by fusing some of its less difficult
components into your day. The hardest piece of creating any new standard or
propensity is beginning! With these five simple morning customs, called
Dinacharya, you'll have the capacity to begin your Ayurvedic trip tomorrow!
1. Wake up before sunrise.
The prospect of waking by 4am may make you need to
flinch, however at any rate attempt to be up by 6am. When this gets to be
periodic, the early morning hours will feel more common, and you'll see its
less demanding to discharge the insides. In Ayurveda, its about consistent
disposal!
On the off chance that you wake up after 6am, you may get
to be inclined to a moderate, dull vitality, with more noteworthy probability
of feeling sleepy and drowsy. Regardless of the fact that you get a decent eight
hours of slumber, chances are you still won't feel crisp and decently rested.
So be sleeping by 10pm, up by 6am. Attempt it! Inevitably you'll cherish it,
and you may perceive that you'll get such a great deal more fulfilled in your
day!
2. Scratch your tongue.
This Ayurvedic practice advances general tooth and gum
wellbeing, while evacuating microorganisms and poisons in charge of periodontal
issues, for example, plaque development, tooth rot, loss of teeth, and gum
sickness. Tongue scrapping is a valuable instrument in expelling poisons from
the mouth, as the mouth is the beginning stage of our processing. Scratching
likewise enacts spit creation and advances agni (the digestive flame) to aid in
absorption all through the whole day.
3. Drink warm water and lemon.
This is the ideal morning beverage, as it helps in
absorption, permitting the body to dispense with waste much simpler (I know,
end once more). It's useful in counteracting stoppage, and also loose bowels.
Notwithstanding facilitating your washroom obligations,
warm water and lemon has numerous other incredible qualities! It's rich in
supplements like calcium, potassium, vitamin C and fiber.
4. Utilize a neti pot.
A neti pot is intended to lighten nasal stuffiness or can
be utilized as a preventive measure to keep the nasal ways clear. It's a viable
practice in diminishing cool and flus, allays sinus cerebral pains, enhances
feeling of smell and taste, and is helpful in lessening or taking out wheezing
… so you can persuade legitimate rest to
be up by day break.
5. Build up a breathing practice.
While all parts of early today standard are essential,
maybe my most loved custom in dispensing with anxiety and guaranteeing ideal
wellbeing is the reflection, pranayama, and asana rehearse. This can be as
basic as a couple of rounds of sun greetings, profound breathing (or other
pranayama systems you are agreeable with) took after by few snippets of calming
the brain.
I trust you appreciated these basic Ayurveda standards.
See you at first light!
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